Safer Sex for Queer Women

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WHAT IS…?           

Tribadism and frottage: vulva-to-vulva contact between two women; rubbing one’s vulva against partner’s body (thigh, stomach, buttocks, etc.) with or without clothing for sexual stimulation; also known as body slides or humping.          

Fingering: inserting one or more fingers into partner’s vagina or anus to give them sexual stimulation; also known as finger fucking or digital sex.

Fisting: inserting your entire hand into partner’s vagina or ass to give them sexual pleasure.        

Cunnilingus (cun-nil-in-gus) or oral sex: using one’s mouth and tongue to pleasure a partner’s vagina and vulva; also known as going down, eating out, and eating pussy.

Analingus: using one’s mouth and tongue to pleasure a partner’s anus; also known as rimming.

Sex toys: an object or device used for sexual stimulation; includes dildos, vibrators, strap-ons (dildos in a harness), butt plugs (with a flared base), anal beads, and nipple clamps—among many others!

BDSM: umbrella term for a different kinds of consensual and communicated kinky pleasure play; includes sexual practices such as bondage (being restrained or tied up), discipline (chastising or punishing, which may include whipping, flogging, or spanking), dominance (one person in control), submission (one person being controlled), and/or sadomasochism (deriving sexual pleasure or stimulation from aspects of pain). These practices may or may not include intercourse.

Watersports: gaining sexual stimulation from watching or having someone urinate on you; may also involve drinking urine. Sometimes involves feces.

Bloodsports: sexual practice associated with S/M; making shallow cuts with a fine blade in the top layer of your partner's skin or using fine needles to temporarily pierce the skin to give them sexual stimulation.


  • Communication! Before gettin’ frisky with your lady(s), take some time to discuss what you both like and dislike sexually. Pay attention to verbal cues and to body language throughout sex to make sure that you’re both still enjoying yourselves.
  • Keep your fingernails short ‘n clean. This helps to avoid injuring yourself or your partner/date. Also, don’t clip your nails too soon before diving in—damaged nail tissue can provide a route for the transmission of infections. You can also use latex gloves with plenty of lube to reduce friction and to keep things wet!
  • Get tested, and regularly! Our Queer Sexual Health Clinic provides a safe space for queer ladies to get tested for STIs and HIV. We now even do pap tests!
  • Avoiding unprotected contact with menstrual blood. Giving oral sex to someone who is on their period can increase the chances of HIV transmission.
  • Use fresh condoms, dental dams, and gloves each and every time. This includes switching from vaginal to anal sex. As well, be sure to use lube that doesn’t contain oil (like silicone) because it breaks down latex.
  • Keep your toys clean! Clean your sex toys between uses using 1 part bleach to 3 parts water. Avoid sharing sex toys and keep your sex toys separate.
  • Make sure that any sharp objects used in bloodsports are sterile.
  • Establish a BDSM safe word that means STOP. Do not share whips, flogs, or canes if blood is drawn. As well, do not attempt BDSM without being advised or trained.
  • Safe, sober, consensual sex can still be hot sex! Drugs and alcohol can impair a person’s sexual judgment, especially when it comes to being safe or consenting to sex. Safety is hot, my friends.


Using latex products will help to keep you infection-free while getting’ down. Here are a couple of options:

  • GLOVES – a pair of latex gloves used on the hand(s) in contact with the vagina and/or anus.  
  • DAMS – a thin rectangle of latex placed over the vagina and/or anus during oral sex.
  • CONDOMS – use on sex toys and, if necessary, on your partner’s bits to protect against transmission of bodily fluids and infection.

You can make your own dental dams with condoms or with a latex glove in a pinch with these nifty little diagrams:




There are several free clinics in Saskatoon where you can get tested and where you can find more information about healthy, safe sex. Check out the following:


Sexual Health Centre of Saskatoon

210 2nd Ave North, Lower Level  

Saskatoon SK  S7K 2B5

Phone: 306-244-7989

Fax: 306-652-4034


Gens Hellquist Queer Sexual Health Clinic

The Avenue Community Centre for Gender and Sexual Diversity

201-320 21st Street West

Saskatoon, SK  S7M 4E6

Phone:  306-665-1224

Fax:  306-665-1280


Public Health Services

Sexual Health Clinic

100-310 Idylwyld Drive North

Saskatoon, SK S7L 0Z2

Phone: 306-655-4642


Positive Passions

300 3rd Avenue South

Saskatoon, SK S7K 1M5

Phone: 306-651-7227



CATIE. Women Lovin’: A Sexual Health Guide for Women (Pamphlet). AIDS Committee of Toronto, 2012.



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